It vas da night before Christmas,

Ven all tru da place vare ay vas staying,

Dare vasn't nobody makin no noises,

Not even some mouses--except me brudder-in-law, and he's a rat.

 

 

Da stockings vas hanged by da shimney kinda careful like,

Because dat feller mit da red knickers vas spose to be dare.

 

Da childrens vas nestled all snug in dare beds,

Vile wisions of sugar plums vas dancing in dare heads.

 

And mama in her curlers and me in my night shirt

Had yust vashed are feet for a long vinters nap.

 

Ven out on da roof ay heard such a noise

Ay yumped from me bed to see if it vas da boys.

 

Avay to da vindow ay fleu like a flash!

Ay coulda made it faster but ay yust ate some hash.

 

Da moon vas shining on da new snow vat had yust come down,

And it vas kinda shiny like it vasn't night.

 

Ven vat to me vondering eyes should appear

But a teeny veeny sleigh and eight teeny veeny Christmas horses.

And a little old driver, sudden and qvick

Ay could tell right avay in my night shirt

It vas "Yolly Shint Nick."

 

More faster den eagles his horses dey came

And he vistled and hollered and called dem bad names

"Now Trasher, now Hasher, now Blunder and Blitzen,

On Yughead, on Stupid, on Visconsin.

 

To da top of da vorld,

Now passavay--passavay--

Pass out, for cat's sake!"

 

And in two yerks of a skunks tail, ay heard on da roof

Dose animals monkeying around mit dare feet.

As ay sucked in my head and tripped over da cat,

Down da shimney came Santa--flat on his back.

 

His eyes--dey vas glassy,

His suit vas da berries,

His sheeks, like some roses,

His nose like some sherries.

His droll little mout vas drawn up in a bow,

And da beard on his shin, it dragged in da snow.

 

Vat vas left of his pipe, he held tight in his toot,

And da smoke wrapped around his head like a hoop.

He vas qvite broad in places, a right yolly old elf.

And ay laugh ven ay see him--ay yust couldn't help it.

 

He had a broad face and a little round belly

Dat shook ven he'd snikker like a bottle of likker.

 

He said not a vord, but vent straight to his vork,

And filled all da hosiery mit Purdy stuff, den turned mit a sqvirt,

And putting his finger in front of his nose,

He said, "Yew know me kids."

And, Holy Smoke! He vas gone.

 

He yumped into his sleigh, a big open yob.

And to his team he gave da vistle he promised dem for Christmas,

And dey yumped and ran like dey'd sat on some tistles.

 

And ay heard him exclaim as he scrammed out of dare--

"Merry Christmas to All, and to all a Good Night."